Conversations
Conversation is a Give and Take art and should be in everyone's key curriculum...
Conversations
With no obvious common ground to fall back on, keeping a conversation going with an older person from another generation can be as challenging as it can be with a complete stranger. Commonality in conversation is very important. It is not particularly surprising that strangers here may find themselves discussing the British weather, when it affects all of us in some way or other and is constantly changing - everyone can contribute, if they care to. So, how can we start conversations?
Consider for a moment the person born 70 or more years ago. They have come from a very different world from our own, where even electricity and running water were not necessarily available even into the 1960s, so with no indoor toilets, the 'privvy' could be found in many a country back garden.
Their world had its many riches and varied complications of course, but it in many respects was a much simpler life, with little entertainment except what you made for yourself. Due respect for 'elders and betters' and for anyone in authority or in a uniform including the local doctor, solicitor, police and teachers was the rule. Authority and discipline was everywhere and children were still expected to obey adults and 'mind their Ps and Qs".
But alongside these comparative hardships and strictures, remarkable freedom and harmless mischief was available to young people. In summertime, children of all ages could play safely in car-free streets and alleyways of the towns, and in fields, orchards and lanes of the countryside and across the country, windows and doors of homes would be unlocked or even left wide open around the clock.
Of course everyone's lives were different and these are only two of a myriad of factors that have affected the outlook and attitudes of this older generation.
How are they now? Well, they may be fit, healthy and engaged but most will have have deteriorating eyesight and/or hearing, some have reduced mobility or they may be affected by any number of chronic older illnesses, or they may be suffering from dementia.
Many Happy Returns has been carefully researched to help bridge the gap between generations. Find a subject that is relevant and meaningful to an older person and this will lead to learning and rich engagement between two people from the same or differing generations.
There are a few simple steps that anyone can take to make a cross-generational conversation richer and more satisfying:
Look directly at the person, notice the colour of their eyes – Let them do the talking – and Listen well
Ask questions - Assume that they are interesting because they have fascinating stories to tell
Do try not to interrupt their train of thought if you can help it
Don't change the subject before they are ready
Empathise with their feelings, Explore the difference of your experiences, Exchange stories, be Enthusiastic and Enjoy their company
Relate to and Respond to them, both verbally and non verbally, with open body language
The questions on the cards are 'open' questions and together with the background information and images, provide a platform to allow easy and entertaining conversation. These elements are designed to be just a starting point to conversation and will help it to be broad and wide-ranging. There are a number of questions on each card to allow the conversation to develop in different ways.
Finally, there are no rules.
At the heart of Many Happy Returns is the enhanced familiarity and enjoyment of the person and their experiences that come from talking about life in a different time.
